I have been attempting to apply some of my coaching tools with my son and I wanted to share what I found worked in the hope it can benefit others. I believe so much of the journey into motherhood requires mental resilience, confidence and courage – especially early on. This is also when it is the hardest with the aftermath of any type of child birth, being sleep deprived and completely shell shocked! This article is about positive affirmations and how they may help….
I found positive affirmations invaluable for the first (bombshell) weeks to allow me focus on my instincts and be the expert in my own life. I spent a lot of time in the bedroom in the first few days with my son and having the affirmations on my wall really helped. Some of the affirmations included ‘trust your instincts’, ‘you spend the most time with X, so you are the expert!’ and my favourite ‘advice/comments from other people is well intended’. You normally are the person spending the most amount of time with your child in a 24-hour period, so this does make you an expert! Basically, my affirmations were a reminder for me to have confidence in myself and in my own judgements. You lose count of the number of (well-intended) people that provide advice at the beginning. It can sometimes be overwhelming and often contradictory leaving many of us in a state of confusion and worry. Once I started to spend time focusing on myself and trusting my instincts, I realised I didn’t need to follow a specific book/theory/advice/person. I felt a sudden sense of relief and it helped me to relax – providing even more benefits to me and baby. By trusting and focusing on your instincts, you also give yourself the time and space to focus on your child (rather than googling manically like I was doing). I was able to work out what was wrong with my son much quicker and identify what he wanted, which often was right – because I was using instincts. Other people also saw my affirmations when they came to visit me and that also helped to communicate what I was trying to achieve and they would normally support the statements. This would further boost me and my husband’s confidence early on and help us continue with this approach. So in summary, trust your instincts and start writing those positive affirmations!